Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
