dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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