if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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