i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.