Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
