If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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