He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
