oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
