Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
