I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
