Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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