I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
