so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
