I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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