Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
