Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
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I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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