sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
tell me about the fingering
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