and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Too much gin, very little bucket
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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