Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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