Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
