literally had 100 drinks last night.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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