3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
So apparently I’m into choking now
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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