so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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