I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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