I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
