Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
