Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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