he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
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It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize