dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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