ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
