drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
