I think i peed on brittanys purse
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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