I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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