took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
