I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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