before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize