i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize