so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize