why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
