also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.