I'm so fucking centered right now
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
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either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
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I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.