Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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