i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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