I don't think brook has ever known best
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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