I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I want her autograph on my taint
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
