We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
