True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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