i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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