it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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