Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
