Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...

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(402): View more from Nebraska

her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed

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(561): View more from Florida

Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.

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(678): View more from Georgia

And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger

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(614): View more from Ohio

Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.

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