There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
