now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
