Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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