I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
