He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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