you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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