I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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