you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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