There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Everything about him screamed your future.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
