If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
