boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
