Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
