it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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