I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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