I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
